On a freezing weekend in mid December, there’s nothing I like more than getting out of the cold for an afternoon and watching twenty films in three hours without spending any money. That might sound like too much to hope for, but as luck would have it, the Sallis Benney Theatre in Grand Parade was playing host on Saturday to the Digitally Born Kids Film Festival, a free one-day screening of films made by under-18s.
So at 2pm I arrived at the modern state-of-the-art theatre which can seat 300, for an entirely free film festival organised by a committee of eleven local teenagers, who had personally sat through more than eighty films submitted from all over the UK, chosen the best twenty, produced trophies and certificates, and even arranged for a documentary film crew to cover the event... only to find that about sixteen people had turned up. Perhaps everyone was out doing their Christmas shopping, but speaking as someone who spent eight years living in a village where the most exciting free event on offer was the annual Litter-Picking Day, I can't help feeling that the residents of Brighton have no idea how lucky they are. The festival deserved a much bigger audience.
The teenagers produced a fine afternoon’s entertainment, doing everything from handing out the programmes and introducing the films, to warning us that anyone who chewed gum would be forced to come back at the end and scrape it off the seats. The twenty films were shown in three groupings, with two short breaks to allow the more outgoing members of the audience to make their way into the theatre cafe to be interviewed by the documentary crew. I skipped that bit on the grounds that I’d probably say something stupid and end up on You’ve Been Framed.
As for the films, they were what you might call an eclectic mix, from animations about recycling and joy-riding, to live action films about time-travel, M.E. and murder, but almost without exception, they were phenomenally good.
I particularly liked ‘Best Friends’, a Welsh film about dyslexia, although it slightly ruined its own argument by telling us that both Robbie Williams and Britney Spears are dyslexic, and suggesting we hold them up as role models. It was made in 2006 before both their lives fell apart. Then there was 'By The Way, I'm Gay', a brilliantly funny film about coming out of the closet, which went on to win Best Film, and 'You Hussy', an amusing short made at City College, Brighton, which took home the Best Comedy award. But even up against those two, the prize for most outrageous title has to go to 'Getting Stuck In' by Hadlow Youth Club in Kent. It's about a boy who stabs his father with a bread knife. To be honest, it would have been more gruesome if it wasn't for the fact that you could see the chopped herbs in the tomato sauce they were using as blood.
I came close to seeing blood of my own when it came to 'Albana's Asylum', a Scottish drama so bleak that it would have made Ken Loach slash his own wrists. But by far the most impressive film of the afternoon was another Glasgow-based effort called 'Happy', a brilliantly directed film about happy-slapping, the makers of which will surely be vying for Baftas in years to come.
Other highlights of the festival included 'The Monster of Hove Lagoon', a documentary which can be viewed on the Argus website, and 'Brief-Case', a 7-minute whodunnit made by the DBK committee themselves, which featured a man being bludgeoned to death with a pumpkin. I haven't laughed so much in years.
My favourite film, however, would have to be 'Don't Open The Cupboard', a five minute movie written, directed by and starring Ben and Rory, Brighton's answer to Vic & Bob, who appeared to be aged about 12. They'd shot the whole thing at the Phoenix Gallery, and in addition to displaying a talent for surreal comedy, provided the highlight of the entire afternoon by dancing to a mobile phone ringtone over the closing credits. I'd give them their own TV show immediately.
Fortunately, by the time the trophies were handed out at 5pm, the audience had grown to a few dozen, and that was despite the fact that most of the award-winners had failed to turn up. The makers of 'Happy' (Best Drama) were apparently absent because "they're from Scotland and didn’t want to come this far", but the most original excuse of the day came from the winners of the Best Chiller award, which went to 'The Curse of the Circus'. According to the official announcement, "they're actually in a circus, and are touring at the moment". You never hear that one on Oscar night.
