It’s not every day you get to meet a man who’s been beaten up by Homer Simpson, amassed a £100 million fortune, and is one of the biggest TV stars on both sides of the Atlantic. But then it’s not every day that Simon Cowell judges a dog show in Brighton. Sunday was just such a day however, with the arrival of the annual Brighton RSPCA Open Day in Patcham.
I do a lot of good work for charity, and funnily enough I do like to talk about it, so keen to support a worthwhile cause (and hang out with celebrities) I naturally went along. Braypool Sports Field had been filled with a variety of stalls representing not only the RSPCA, but also many other animal charities, raising money for everything from underprivileged dogs and cats, to retired donkeys and diseased badgers.
Visitors had the chance to help boost funds by donating money, buying knick-knacks, entering raffles and chucking balls at tin cans, whilst those in possession of a dog could pay a pound for the chance to drag Fido around a canine assault course. Suffice it to say that some were more keen than others. Whilst the occasional entrant leapt and bounded his way around like an Olympic athlete, the majority needed a little coercion, and one ended up being carried.
In addition to the sideshows, there was the opportunity to meet the current residents of the RSPCA shelter, and perhaps offer one a home. The afternoon must have done wonders for the adoption rate, as having walked up and down the kennels and fallen hopelessly in love with the occupants, it was hard not to leave without a couple of puppies and a kitten under your arm.
On the downside, I do have to question the wisdom of the RSPCA’s catering committee. This was an event attended by many hundreds of people, yet the food and drink facilities were woeful. In addition, the organisers clearly felt that if you love animals then you won’t want to eat them, and as a result the only food on offer was vegetarian. I’m not one to complain, but when the only way to avoid starvation is to queue for twenty minutes for a vegetarian sausage and a cheese sandwich, you do start to question the organisers’ decisions.
On the bright side, there may not have been any burgers, but with the sun shining all afternoon there were plenty of hot dogs, and the dog shows which continued throughout the afternoon were a great success. Nicky Keig-Shevlin, the Southern FM breakfast DJ, arrived just in time for the ‘Prettiest Bitch’ competition (she was judging it, obviously), and was presented to the crowd by the announcer with the words “I’d like to introduce you to the most famous dog in Sussex”. To my enormous relief, he was talking about Nicky’s Bichon Frisé, Alfie, who features regularly on her show.
Nicky also picked the winner of the ‘Dog Most Like Owner’ contest, only for the pooch in second place to get a little too friendly with Alfie. It gave a whole new meaning to the concept of sleeping with the judges.
The guest of honour, however, was of course Simon Cowell, who arrived with his mother at 2pm, driving the biggest Rolls Royce I’ve ever seen. His Mum lives in Ovingdean, and being the kind of son who always does as he’s told, Simon is a regular visitor to the RSPCA Open Day. While he signed autographs and posed for photos, the organisers auctioned off a number of items, including a shirt worn by Graham Norton and one of Frank Bruno’s boxing gloves, before freeing Simon from the throng of well-wishers and talent show wannabes, and allowing him to judge the main event of the afternoon.
Having walked around and chatted at length to each owner, Simon soon discovered that Brighton’s Got Talent, looked for the dog with the X-Factor, and ultimately crowned the winner of the ‘RSPCA Dog of the Year’ competition. Although if I’d had my way, I’d have called it ‘Pup Idol’.
